Me Too? (Or not me?)

Several years ago, I developed and led a professional development program for women within my then-employer. Utilizing internal and external speakers, we hosted a series of “courses” to help women leverage existing strengths, set goals and pathways to achieving those, and find their voice in our male-dominant American leadership structure.

The very first class was on building your career scaffolding. To this day, I can remember the presenter’s words almost verbatim. It was far more than mentors and coaches. Instead, she encouraged us to look at those relationships as a two-way street, asking questions like “who are the people who will speak up for you when you are not in the room?” and pointing us to really analyze the end-goal. “Are the people currently praising you telling the same story you would tell?”  “Are the folks who say they have your back actually aware of your personal goals, or is the praise they offer supporting their own endgame?”

These are all valuable, certainly, but the real support comes from those willing to speak up when we see the alternate happening. The real scaffolding needed for women is a cadre of supporters who will say something when they hear (or overhear) you being thrown under that ever-present bus, or otherwise slighted in another person’s effort to self-promote.

I feel quite certain that every single person reading this has witnessed someone who regularly cuts others off or dismisses certain team members in meetings. I feel entirely confident in saying that every person reading this has witnessed someone take credit for an idea that you know for a fact was the brain product of another employee. I feel equally sure that everyone reading this has witnessed an employee mistreated, repeatedly, by a leader who has a reputation for similarly mistreating others and yet still continues to be excused for their behaviour.

The question I ponder then, is this: After more than six years of #MeToo awareness, mandatory harassment training programs, conversations with friends, court decisions and news coverage… after all this time, watching and observing (or being victim to) these behaviors… are you still participating?

How many of you (us) have actually changed your behavior as a result?