Whose Hand Are You Holding?

I had the BEST conversations this morning, still with me, still making me smile. And all as a result of the barrage of negative news yesterday. Breakfast with friends, which started as a shell-shocked face-palm grief-stricken god-help-us-all gathering, but turned into a beautiful symphony of emotional uplift, laughter and kindness, support and - well - love.

See - here's the thing.... when people come together to talk and listen and be in common space together, we rise above the reposts and retweets and repeated INCESSANTLY nastiness that is currently called "news". (I mean really - how many times do you need to rehear something like this?!) We build ties that can't be broken. We lift up those who need lifting. Like the ocean, we become that tide that won't be held back by power and greed.

This past year, really two years now, most people I speak with are feeling intensely the divide. Pitted against friend and neighbor, spouse and family member, community and work... we are surrounded with negativity and chaos. A lot of folks checked out. Deleted their social media accounts and checked out. Others stepped in, fists raised, and started swinging.

For me there have been a range of reactions and self-care steps that I've taken. Little things, like subscribing to Sirius XM Radio so that I can surround myself with music during my daily commute. Reconnecting with a weekly coffee group that I'd stopped attending. Regular exercise. Travel (I left the country three times last year!) And binge-watching Longmire, Blacklist and shows about British royalty. ;)

I'm more conscious of the way things matter. Little things and the big things, they matter more than they did 18 months ago.

Another thing I'm feeling hyper-aware of is what I do with my money, and how to allocate the small charitable gifts that I make. And I've made some changes.

Last year (Dec 2016) I got great pleasure making year-end gifts to specific organizations that I felt could make some impact post-election. In NC, Equality NC was a big one in the aftermath of the bathroom fiasco. I gave, and not just that. I gave "in memory of" Pat McCrory.

Nationally - the ACLU. Again, drawing on the persistent attacks on people who are less educated and do not have the resources to fight back, I needed to support an organization that I felt like could and would do that. So ACLU made the list, and in that case I gave in honor of Mike Pence.

But locally is where I made more serious changes. I took organizations like our county Arts Council and a local women's organization off my list. I also skipped Planned Parenthood, except for a small token gift, because so many were actively opening up their wallets there.

Instead I gave to Legal Aid. This is an organization that gets little attention but does such hard work, and though ACLU and other organizations can get into the legal fray and help fight for and amend the constitutional rights battle on a state and national level, those living with the effects of less social services support, less immigration support, less healthcare support, less domestic violence support - they need help NOW. So they've become my #1 donation spot.

But there has to be more.

Earlier this week I took a stand with a stranger in the face of harassment. A young man was talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette outside the local Planned Parenthood chapter. As I drove by one of the regular abortion protesters crossed the street and approached the man with literature. Without a thought, I turned my car around, pulled into the parking lot, and placed myself between them. The man was still smoking, still on the phone, but was yelling at the protester. I rolled down my window and very clearly, very calmly, told her she needed to go back to the public side of the street.

I want to be very clear here.... that I did not in any way make any mention of the other person's political or religious views, their reasons for protesting, nor did I in any way attack them for their right to do so. The ONLY thing I did was protect the one person in that situation whose rights were in jeopardy. Both are equal - regardless of which I might personally align myself with.

And that has made me think about how else I might continue that. Is it monetary support of others who are doing this? Is it training and education? Is it some form of activism?

I'm curious though, what things you are doing that 1 - make you feel better, more hopeful, or 2 - that you feel are making a difference?